Mental Health Tips for Expats

It's world mental health day today and it has me thinking particularly about expat mental health. I saw an info-graphic the other day that expats around the world are so many that if you put us all together we would make the fifth largest country in the world with a population of 232 million, that's three and a half times the population of the UK. It really made me think about what it means to be an expatriate (Someone who is residing temporarily or permanently in a country other than that of the person’s upbringing.)

Moving to another country is a big deal and those who do it do so for many reasons. I imagine the number one reason is job related whether it be for better salary, more work life balance or career progression. Other reasons might include quality of life, marriage, travel or education opportunities. Whatever the reason it is not a small decision to make and it can be on the back of differing levels of necessity for many. It is also never without risk, even with the best of research expats that leave behind family, friends, homes and lives do so at the risk that everything may not be as expected and even if it is we don’t always know how change can affect us until it happens.

Swapping one life for another can be a very daunting experience in itself. Learning to set up life again in a new country where people may or may not speak your language is not easy. There are the general essentials like documents, bank accounts, schools, doctors, rent and bills and where to shop to navigate but once the dust settles and the mammoth task of packing, moving , unpacking and setting up comes to a close what is left is often a very lonely time figuring out how to source things you need, meet people and find a new sense of purpose and community that can fill in the gap from that piece of you that you left ‘back home’.

Isolation can be common, maybe even the cause of depression often more so for the spouse who moved as a family unit for their other half's job and now find themselves with very little purpose while their spouse has work and the kids have school.

Missing family can be difficult especially for those who have left behind children either in boarding schools or in the care of family.

Anxiety around change can affect children too and lead to acting up and behaviour that causes tension at home.

New systems of working, differing levels of physical and emotional safety, office politics or a change in levels of challenge can make expat work challenging, depressing or at the least difficult to navigate. On top of this the pressure to succeed is high considering the high stakes involved in moving a family to a new country. This pressure can lead to work related stress and burnout.

The list goes on and every person's experience will be different but it must be a rare thing to be an expat without any kind of struggle or risk to mental health and well being. It can be a bumpy journey indeed. Add the Covid outbreak to the situation and the huge effect that has had on expats all over the world who look forward to breaks back home; and visiting family that they have not seen for some time, splitting up families who may have children in boarding schools or those getting stuck due to border closures for months on end. Losing jobs and losing family members. While we are all in the same storm, we have been in many different boats and the Impact has been huge, life changing and heart breaking for so many.

I can only really reflect on and speak about my own experiences and be grateful for the relative ease of my own situation, but really I just wanted to take this time on world mental health day to think about the expat experience and send out a prayer for all of the expat community around the world who may be struggling in one way or another. You are not alone.

I’ve done my best to offer some well being tips for those who are a long way from home and need to take care of themselves and I hope it helps in some small way insha’Allah.

Acceptance

The first trick to improving any situation is first accepting how things are. Be honest and stop fighting the situation. Just look at where you are now and accept that this is where you are starting from. Let go of how things should be and start with: this is how it is now. Breathe.

Finding the problem

We need to think about, recognise what is going on right now. Is there anything in particular that is triggering negative feelings?

Write a list of things that are good about your new life and areas of struggle. Now you have a focus, a list of areas to work on and prioritise and your purpose now is to work on it to make your new life work.

Step by step

Things take time. It's cliche but true. Work on things one priority at a time or it can become too overwhelming.

Get out of the house and explore

It can feel scary at first to even leave the house but just do it. First a walk around your street. Then your neighbourhood. Go out to eat. Go out to shop. Go to the pool or the beach or the school events. Take the bus instead of driving just so that you might meet people and get to know your area.

Meet people

Humans can't survive without company. We need to meet like minded people. We can often more easily meet people based on our countries of origin, however in my opinion, one of the best things about being an expat is that we can meet like minded people from all over the world who can teach us new things, challenge our biases and just make us generally better people. Look on social media for local groups based on your interests, just be a friendly person and say hi to people who live near you and invite people who are newer than you over for coffee or go and greet new neighbours, do play dates for your kids and go on local tour companies events. You never know what amazing friends you may meet.

Start a new hobby or go on an adventure

Moving to a new country is a good time to start a hobby or learn the language. Taking the time to see the places around us can help us really appreciate the opportunity for travel and adventure we have when we move to a new country plus all of this can keep us busy and positive while preventing those initial feelings of isolation and depression.

Find a purpose

Later, once the essentials are in order it is really important for us all to have a sense of purpose. Figure out what you like to do and find a way you can do it. It could be working on your health and fitness, it could be supporting a local charity or helping a community group or even volunteering at the local school. Speak to people, look for the opportunities and take them.

Talk about it

When you meet new friends, the last thing you want to do is spill your heart out about how lonely or bored you are but chances are everyone has been there at some point and will understand. When we keep things in it can seem so much worse than when we just say it out loud.

Get support

If you are feeling particularly down or initial sense of overwhelm or isolation are not shifting then find out what support is in your local area. Of course it will be country, area, even neighbourhood specific but some compounds may have coffee mornings for new people and some hospitals may have mental health or counselling services. There are also online services and self help websites so you can find support from your home country and access it online.

See a doctor

If you feel that you are having more than a temporary time of isolation and are concerned about symptoms of depression, anxiety or other mental health issues then please visit a doctor to discuss your symptoms as you may need medication to help you out of a black hole.